Whilst waiting for my 1 old border collie puppy/dog/adolescent female to urinate, I sit here and ponder life's mysteries. The first of which (and most important) being, why won't she piss on demand. It takes a lot of work to train a dog, which only came as a surprise after purchasing said creature. Not only will she never do anything she is told, she barks at my guitar, growls when me and my wife get close and insists upon licking every inch of my face when at eye level. Not only that, she has also taken it upon herself to clean up her own faeces (re-read and imagine face licking) using her eloquent taste buds and presumably extraordinary digestive system.
Which has lead me to discover that the once cute as a button puppy that melted my heart one year ago has turned into a face-licking, poo eating, growling machine. Despite all of her misgivings, I have to suck it up and carry on with a smile on my face because, "she is your dog" and "you wanted her". So this blog has turned into my solace and safe haven to moan freely, and if you don't like, I don't care........because you can't tell me off half as good as my wife does.